Financially kicking someone to the curb is a necessary thing. When financially kicking someone to the curb you are in essence saying “No” to their constant borrowing.
What do I mean when I say financially kicking someone to the curb? I mean not being their:
- Crutch
- Automatic Teller Machine
- Go to person for every financial crisis
- Mom
- Dad
Financially kicking someone to the curb means you have to learn to JUST SAY NO!
Borrowing Money
I have had my fair share of people who ask for loans. Due to people’s amnesia with paying me back I have financially kicked people to the curb.
No longer will I be providing funds to anyone. My stance is that adults work (or should) and should have some kind of savings set aside. Your emergency doesn’t constitute my emergency. They should learn to build and emergency fund to prevent the need to borrow during a crisis.
While uncomfortable, it has taken me some time to get into the grove of financially kicking people to the curb.
There are three rules you should take into consideration when thinking about financially kicking someone to the curb.
Rule #1: Truly Asses Your Own Financial Situation
Even if you CAN loan out money it doesn’t mean that you SHOULD. I have borrowed money from family members in extreme circumstances. Most of my borrowing is due to my losing my debit card.
While I was is in law school I had to borrow money from my mother to pay my rent until my student loans came in. I even borrowed money from an aunt for one of my homes but paid her back after the closing. She made me sign a promissory note even though I told her and showed her how I would pay her back.
When you are considering loaning money to someone, think about what it would mean to you if that person never gave you the money back.
Looking at your financial situation, could you financially afford to NEVER get this money back?
If you loan out $500 to someone and you NEVER get the loan repaid will this affect your bottom line? If no, you may not have a problem with loaning the money. If yes, DO NOT LOAN OUT MONEY.
People Will Borrow Money From You With a Smile But Pay You Back With A Attitude
Rule #2: Assess Your Own Psychological Response If the Loan is Not Re-Paid
You have to think about your mental health when you decide about financially kicking someone to the curb.
I have anxiety after loaning money and it is based upon my experiences with certain borrowers. Despite my having clear written and verbal agreements to repay the money, I have those people who feel like they can pay me back whenever they get ready to.
About 10 years ago I loaned someone a very large sum of money. He told me he would give it back to me in three months and I believed him. I made him sign a contract and he agreed to pay me $2,500 in interest for those three months. Well, three months ran into three years and I got tired of begging for my money. I ended up taking him to court. Eventually I got my money back sans the interest payment but that experience alone made me anxious about loaning anything to anyone.
Rule #3: Remember the Time You Were Down On Your Financial Luck When You Consider Financially Kicking Someone to the Curb
Most of us have been in financially challenging situations. One of the questions I ask myself when financially kicking someone to the curb is “who did they get assistance from before meeting me?” A very dear friend of mine asked me this when I told him about a recent request from someone to borrow money from me.
I love how you make me feel bad for wanting you to pay me back the money you owe me
“What Did They Do Before They Met You?”
What did you do when you were in a financially challenging situation? I ask myself, “what did that person do before he or she met me?” We all know things happen but we also should know that a lot of things are preventable.
Don’t Let Someone’s Failure To Plan Put A Financial Burden on You
We as lenders who are also financially responsible adults deserve better. We should not and don’t have to be the consistent backbone to the financially irresponsible. If someone is asking you for a large sum of money, chances are they knew this was coming and failed to plan. Don’t Let Their Failure Put A Financial Burden on You.
Here are some other resources to help you say no:
Diplomatically Say No to Family and Friends That Want to Borrow Money
How To Refuse Lending Money to Family and Friends
How To Gracefully Turn Down Requests for Money
Just say no and never feel bad about financially kicking someone to the curb.